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Case #5680244 – April 11th, 2:13 PM. Suspect is a blonde woman over the age of thirty. She identifies herself as Lisey Sweet and is filed under our Must Implement Liberal Frisking (MILF) category. She is suspected of stealing several expensive pieces of lingerie. Upon detainment, the suspect demonstrates a contentious demeaner. She curses at the Officer on duty and denies the allegations adamantly. However, upon search, the stolen items, including stolen jewelry, are found on her person and proper protocol is carried out. The rest of this case is classified.